Fred Bare boy/girl sweater

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Fred Bare boy/girl sweater

Pamela Allardice shows you how letting grief run its course helps you to find a way forward.

Grief is like a cyclone – violent and uncontrollable, it rips through us, upending our lives. Even when the shock has passed, we are left dazed, sifting through memories and trying to make sense of an unfamiliar, devastated landscape.

Grieving is a natural response to loss and the more you loved that person, the more powerful your feelings will be. Emptiness, confusion, fury, helplessness, and exhaustion are all part of a painful yet necessary process that will take time to pass.

Cancer survivors invariably refer to discovering a renewed zest for life, and a determination to make the most of every moment. Grieving has a similar effect. As you work through your sadness, you become stronger emotionally. And ultimately, by reminding you that life is short and unpredictable, grief helps you to appreciate everything life has to offer – the many joys as well as the hard times. Keeping these thoughts in mind will help:

  • Stay present

    Banish the word 'should' from your vocabulary – there is no correct way to mourn, and no time frame when you will 'start to feel better'. You can't change the way you feel – the best thing you can do is simply be present to it.

  • Let it out

    Getting your feelings out in the open lets healing begin – but when and how you do so is a highly individual decision. Some people may take months or years before they are even able to cry; some may crave privacy, others may need another person to be present to validate their feelings. See what feels right for you –writing in a journal, confiding in a friend, or undertaking counselling.

  • Communicate

    Continuing to talk or write to someone who has died can help. Whether you believe in God, Buddha, or an unnamed Source, if you think loved ones can continue to guide you from the other side, you can develop a spiritual relationship with them that reaches past their physical death. There is a bereavement poem that includes the famous lines, "Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep." Nobody knows who wrote the poem but it contains a profound truth: you don't have to say goodbye to that person, they live in your heart forever.

  • Treat yourself well

    Promise yourself, in your loved one's name, that you will eat, sleep and avoid destructive and unhealthy behaviours (e.g. drinking too much) for the sake of family and friends who love you.

  • Later, give back

    Everything that happens to us contains a lesson that helps us to grow. Consider Candace Lightner, whose 12 year-old daughter Cari was killed by a drunk driver; she then went on to form Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD, www.madd.org). Every loss is devastating, but it always offers the opportunity to keep that person's memory alive and share the legacy of their story.

How have you coped with grief in your life? Share your experiences or advice to others below.


Barbecued American style ribs

MEASUREMENTS
These garments are designed to be a generous fit.
Years 4 6 8
Fits underarm - cm 60 65 70
Garments measure - cm 72 79 86
Length - cm 44 48 52
Sleeve fits - cm 28 33 38

MATERIALS

Patons Totem 8 PLY
(50g balls) Quantity 8 9 10 A small quantity of contrasting colour for blanket stitch embroidery trims.
IMPORTANT! Use only the yarn specified for these garments. Other yarns may give unsatisfactory results. Quantities are approximate as they can vary between knitters.
1 pair each 4.00mm (No 8) and 3.25mm (No 10) Knitting Needles or sizes needed to give correct tension. 3 Stitch Holders; A Length of Leather Thonging for Girls' Sweater; A Wool Needle.
TENSION - 22 sts and 30 rows to 10 cm over stocking st, using 4.00mm Needles. To work tension square, use 4.00mm Needles, cast on 33 sts.
Work 44 rows stocking st. Cast off loosely.
Please check your tension carefully. If less sts use smaller needles, if more sts use bigger needles.
ABBREVIATIONS - alt=alternate; beg=beginning; cm=centimetres; cont=continue; dec=decrease, decreasing; garter st=every row knit; inc=increase, increasing; K=knit; M1=make 1 - pick up loop which lies before next stitch, place on left hand needle and knit into back of loop; patt= pattern; P=purl; rem=remain/ing; rep=repeat; st/s=stitch/es; stocking st=1 row knit, 1 row purl; tog=together; yfwd=yarn forward - bring yarn under needle, then over into knitting position again, thus making a stitch.

BOY'S OR GIRL'S SWEATER
BACK

Using 4.00mm Needles, cast on 82 (90-98) sts.
Knit 5 rows garter st (1st row is wrong side). **
Work in stocking st until work measures 27 (30-32) cm from beg, ending with a purl row.
SHAPE RAGLAN ARMHOLES - Cast off 2 (2-3) sts at beg of next 2 rows ... 78 (86-92) sts.
Dec one st at each end of next row, then in every foll alt row until 28 (38-34) sts rem, then in every row until 26 (28-32) sts rem.
Leave rem sts on a stitch-holder.

FRONT
Work as for Back to **.
For Girl's version - Work in stocking st until work measures 27 (30-32) cm from beg, ending with a purl row.
For Boy's version - Work in stocking st until work measures 7 (8-9) cm from beg, ending with a purl row.
Beg feature hole patt - 1st row - K63 (71-79), K2tog, M1, sl 1, K1, psso, K15 ...81 (89-97) sts.
2nd row - P15, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P63 (71-79).
3rd row - K62 (70-78), K2tog, K1, sl 1, K1, psso, K14 ... 79 (87-95) sts.
4th row - P14, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P62 (70-78).
5th row - K61 (69-77), K2tog, K1, sl 1, K1, psso, K13 ... 77 (85-93) sts.
6th row - P13, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P61 (69-77).
7th row - K60 (68-76), K2tog, K1, sl 1, K1, psso, K12 ... 75 (83-91) sts.
8th row - P12, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P60 (68-76).
9th row - K59 (67-75), K2tog, M1, K1, M1, sl 1, K1, psso, K11 ... 75 (83-91) sts.
10th row - P11, P1tbl, P3, P1tbl, P59 (67-75).
11th row - K59 (67-75), K1tbl, K3, K1tbl, K11.
12th row - P11, P1tbl, P3, P1tbl, P59 (67-75).
Rep 11th and 12th rows once.
15th row - K59 (67-75), M1, K1tbl, drop next st on left hand needle off needle and leave, K1, drop next st on left hand needle off needle and leave, K1tbl, M1, K11.
16th row - P12, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P60 (68-76).
17th row - K60 (68-76), M1, K1tbl, K1, K1tbl, M1, K12 ... 77 (85-93) sts.
18th row - P13, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P61 (69-77).
19th row - K61 (69-77), M1, K1tbl, K1, K1tbl, M1, K13 ... 79 (87-95) sts.
20th row - P14, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P62 (70-78).
21st row - K62 (70-78), M1, K1tbl, K1, K1tbl, M1, K14 ... 81 (89-97) sts.
22nd row - P15, P1tbl, P1, P1tbl, P63 (71-79).
23rd row - K63 (71-79), M1, K1tbl, drop next st on left hand needle off needle and leave, K1tbl, M1, K15 ... 82 (90-98) sts.
24th row - P16, P2tbl, P64 (72-80) ... thus completing feature hole patt.
NOTE - With your fingers, gently unravel the sts dropped off needle, these sts will stop unravelling at the original point that they were introduced (at the M1).
Cont in stocking st for rem, until work measures 27 (30-32) cm from beg, ending with a purl row.
SHAPE RAGLAN ARMHOLES (for both versions) - Cast off 2 (2-3) sts at beg of next 2 rows ... 78 (86-92) sts.
Dec one st at each end of next row, then in every foll alt row until 44 (52-54) sts rem.
Work 1 row.
DIVIDE FOR FRONT OPENING - 1st row - K2tog, K17 (21-22), yfwd, K2tog,
K1 (eyelet hole), turn.
Cont on these 21 (25-26) sts.
2nd row - K2, purl to end.
3rd row - K2tog, knit to end ... 20 (24-25) sts.
4th row - As 2nd row.
5th row - K2tog, knit to last 3 sts, yfwd, K2tog, K1 (eyelet hole) ... 19 (23-24) sts.
6th row - As 2nd row.
7th row - K2tog, knit to end ... 18 (22-23) sts.
* SHAPE NECK - Next row - Cast off 6 (7-8) sts, purl to end ... 12 (15-15) sts.
Next row - K2tog, knit to end ... 11 (14-14) sts.
*** Dec one st at armhole edge in alt rows 3 (2-5) times, then in every row 1 (5-1) time/s, AT SAME TIME dec one st at neck edge in every row 5 (5-6) times ... 2 sts.
Next row - K2tog. Fasten off. ***
Join yarn to rem sts, K1, K2tog, yfwd (eyelet hole), knit to last 2 sts, K2tog ... 21 (25-26) sts.
Cont on these 21 (25-26) sts.
1st row - Purl to last 2 sts, K2.
2nd row - Knit to last 2 sts, K2tog ... 20 (24-25) sts
3rd row - As 1st row.
4th row - K1, K2tog, yfwd (eyelet hole), knit to last 2 sts, K2tog ... 19 (23-24) sts.
5th row - As 1st row.
6th row - As 2nd row ... 18 (22-23) sts.
7th row - As 1st row.
SHAPE NECK - Cast off 6 (7-8) sts at beg of next row, knit to last 2 sts, K2tog ... 11 (14-14) sts.
Rep from *** to ***.

SLEEVES
Using 4.00mm Needles, cast on 45 sts.
1st row - P6, * (K1, P1) 3 times, K1, P6, rep from * to end.
2nd row - K6, * (P1, K1) 3 times, P1, K6, rep from * to end.
Rep 1st and 2nd rows 8 times ... 18 rows rib in all.
Work 6 rows stocking st.
25th row - K2, M1, knit to last 2 sts, M1, K2 ... 47 sts.
Cont in stocking st (beg with a purl row), inc one st (as before) at each end of every foll 8th (8th-10th) row until there are 53 (49-59) sts, then in foll 10th (10th-12th) row/s until there are 57 (59-61) sts.
Cont without shaping until work measures 28 (33-38) cm (or length desired) from beg, ending with a purl row.
SHAPE RAGLAN - Cast off 2 (2-3) sts at beg of next 2 rows ... 53 (55-55) sts. Dec one st at each end of next row, then in every foll 4th row until 45 (45-37) sts rem, then in alt rows until 9 (11-13) sts rem.
Work 1 row.
Leave rem sts on stitch-holder.

NECKBAND
Using wool needle and back-stitch, join raglan seams noting that tops of sleeves form part of neckline. With right side facing and using 3.25mm Needles, knit up 14 (17-20) sts evenly along right side of neck, knit across sts from right sleeve stitch-holder, knit across sts from back stitch-holder, knit across sts from left sleeve stitch-holder, then knit up 14 (17-20) sts evenly along left side of neck ... 72 (84-98) sts.
1st row - Knit.
2nd row - K1, K2tog, yfwd (eyelet hole), knit to last 3 sts, yfwd, K2tog (eyelet hole), K1 ... 6 eyelet holes in all.
Knit 3 rows garter st.
Cast off loosely knitways.

MAKE UP
With a slightly damp cloth and warm iron, press lightly on wrong side. Using wool needle, sew in all ends. Using wool needle and back-stitch, join side and sleeve seams. For Boy's version - Using 2 strands of yarn, make a twisted cord 75 cm long and thread through eyelet holes on front opening. For Girl's version - Thread leather thonging through eyelet holes on front opening. For both versions - Using wool needle, work blanket stitch around lower edge of Back, Front and Sleeves as pictured. Press seams.

Pattern supplied by Patons, freecall 1800 333 642.

comments powered by Disqus
comments powered by Disqus

Recipe Search

Tip: Try "lamb & potato" or "Low GI"
Features
Pictures

Taking Five with AWW: The McClymonts .

Taking Five with The McClymonts  Taking Five with The Weekly catches up with Australian country music singing trio The... More >

Tokyo: A beginner's guide.

Bright lights: Tokyo's Rainbow Bridge and city skyline. Photo: Tokyo Convention & Visitors Bureau. Discover the shops, shrines and stone lanterns among Tokyo's skyscrapers. More >

Weekly newsletter

Recipes in your inbox We send you the latest recipes from the Weekly plus all the week's best bits to your inbox.
Sign up now >