If you are a parent who has lost a child, you’ll already know this, but it’s perhaps worth saying: no child that dies can ever be replaced.
New babies may well be born, and they may well bring joy into your life, but the child that is missing will always be missing, and nothing can ever change it.
It’s a sentiment – a fact – that Martin and Jane Weekes –understand too well.
A little over a year ago, on 28 May 2012, Jane and Martin’s triplets – Lillie, Jackson and Willsher – died in a fire at a luxury shopping centre in Doha, in the Middle Eastern state of Qatar.
They were just two years old.
Now the couple, who loved being parents more than anything, have welcomed twins into their lives – and it’s bittersweet.
“I’ve been trying to think of a word, and that’s the best word,” says Martin, 47, who has his newborn son, Parker, snuggled into the crook of his arm.
“You want to be happy, but you feel guilty, because you are happy.
“You want to feel joy, but you are still grieving. You feel enormous love for them, but you also have regrets, because Lillie, Jackson and Willsher are not here. So it’s been a rollercoaster ride.”
Jane agrees: she loves being mother to her newborn twins, but she does not have two children. She has five.
Martin and Jane, who tell their story in the December issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly, were living in Qatar for work.
It’s a popular place for expats, because it’s generally safe, and the tax rate is low.
Martin, who was born in England, was a senor media manager, having previously worked as the CEO of Eden Park, home of the mighty All-Blacks.
Jane, who was born in New Zealand and lived in Canberra as a girl, worked for Qatar Airlines before she had her family.
Their children – all three of them – died when fire broke out in the Villaggio shopping centre, which was supposedly one of Qatar’s best, except that it was built incredibly cheaply, with highly flammable decorative paint and features, and blocked fire escapes, and so little attention to international fire safety regulations that the fire brigade didn’t even know that there was a child care centre there.
Qatar has recently won the right to host the 2022 World Cup and Martin says the international community should be concerned about the speed at which new buildings, especially stadiums, are going up.
Already, more than 70 guests workers have died on construction sites.
“They use cheap labour and don’t train people properly,” he says.
“If they could not evacuate a major shopping centre at midday on a Monday (which would have saved the lives of his children) what would happen in a major disaster?”
Read more of this story in the December issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly.
